DLL HELL.....

.....and other matters.

This was meant to be added to a few weeks ago but my computer, which in human years is just about ready for a pension and a bus pass, had a fit and descended into what is known as DLL Hell.

For those that do not know and have not experienced this form of computer illness-less virus or worm but rather akin to electronic alzheimers, I shall explain.

DLL hell is a colloquial term for the complications that ensue when working with dynamic link libraries (DLLs) in Microsoft Windows.

It takes a number of forms, the most common often shows up in a Windows alert window that reports: "A Required DLL File, xxxx, was not found" when users try to run an application.

Well, mine was slightly more serious. My DLL problems started on logging into Windows. Therefore, it was not a case of just removing some rogue applications. The whole registry had to go. Which meant reformatting my C drive. A bit of a pain in the proverbial but it was overcome. After some pianful hours reloading the base OS, Windows, programs.... you get the picture, last week

For those with post Windows 2000 you have little to fear supposedly as the problems for the most part have been fixed but the DLL problems bring me on to

VISA HELL AVERTED.

Since the DLL Hell problem and its repair Chelsea have made it to Moscow. Which posed a problem. With the current political situation between Russia and pretty much everybody else from its western border outwards to say I was concerned would be putting it mildly. Throwing in the wait and cost of trying to get hold of a VISA was also somewhat vexing.

Well, take it from me, the whole army of supporters marching on the Luzhniki stadium has breathed a whole sigh of relief, contributing to our carbon emissions significantly, when the Russians made a pact with UEFA that as long as the fans are in, out, not shaking it all about within 72 hours, the match ticket will be our VISA.

I'll toast some Dovgan to that.

Hopefully not so much that I cannot add some more thoughts on football tomorrow. Luzhniki Stadium Picture Source: Flickr User: Sauri

Football as a form of Religion?

It was inevitable really! I am a football fan and I like to philosophise so I was thinking what is religion? What is football? Why can football not be a religion itself?

Bear with me!

re·li·gion (rĭ-lĭj'ən)
n.
Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.
A personal or institutionalized system grounded in such belief and worship.
The life or condition of a person in a religious order.
A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader.
A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.

Notice the last one in particular! I am not mad enough to go down the route of pretending footballers are supernatural although to cloud matters it can be said they have a god given talent.

But no the last one: A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.

Is that not what football can be defined as-an activity pursued with zeal and conscientious devotion. The football fan going to the matches every other saturday or every week or every game. Is that not devotion? You could reference in the Coca Cola ad campaign Eat Drink Sleep Football. Maybe make it the first commandment of football fans.

Ok what about places of worship? Football has those the Stadiums. Some have become synonymous with their own folklore and traditions-Old Trafford, Camp Nou, Anfield. Some are even poetic with grand sounding names that sound almost reverential like the Stadium of Light. Re-read that. Stadium of Light, it reminds, me anyway, of the quote by Jesus I am the Light of the World. Mind you Sunderland fans are experiencing some dark days at their Stadium of Light but Benfica are faring better.

Ok what about rites. Well fans all have similar rites of passage particularly the lean years. I am quite lucky at the moment that my team is doing well and was doing fairly well when I began supporting them-in the mid nineties.
BUT my mother who has supported them for longer has had to bear with the last gasp saves from relegation, actual relegation and all thats in between.

There are rules within the actual game itself but also the pre-match rituals. The pre-match and post-match pint and the match day pie-a football fans communion and wine.

There are the religious symbols of our devotion-the football shirts,

and like the ancient Greeks and Romans players (or in ancient world warriors) that have distinguished themselves in battle (matches) are promoted to gods with a small g.

So you have Peter Osgood the King of Stamford Bridge who if there was a church of football would gain a sainthood, Gianfranco Zola the Italian Wizard of the Bridge, Cantona the god of the Theatre of Dreams, Bobby Moore and Upton Park, Don Revie for Leeds and Alan Shearer at Newcastle-these names have lived on long after their deaths in some cases and will i am sure in those still present. In this sense they have been canonized:

can·on·ize (kăn'ə-nīz')
tr.v., -ized, -iz·ing, -iz·es.
To declare (a deceased person) to be a saint and entitled to be fully honored as such.
To include in the biblical canon.
To include in a literary canon.
To approve as being within canon law.
To treat as sacred; glorify.

as the last one: To treat as sacred; glorify

And the world over has them, Pele, Di Stefano, Eusebio, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Messi, Kempes, Passarella, Maradona, Garrincha, and so on around the world. Beckenbauer the Kaiser.

Football has its hymns-the anthems or terrace chants and sung at full volume in a stadium at capacity can be electrifying.
I have yet to hear a better version of You'll Never Walk Alone than when sung at Anfield.

I could go on but I fear that extra time shall have to suffice.